Hindsight
by the Darkdesire
Summary: I'm not much of the dramatic wedding crashing type but I'll make this one exception. I think I'm much better suited to play the role of the rich, arrogant aristocratic husband than the twit scheduled to marry Hermione Granger at 4pm today.


**_Hindsight_**

**_Summary:_**___I'm not much of the dramatic wedding crashing type but I'll make this one exception. I think I'm much better suited to play the role of the rich, arrogant aristocratic husband than the twit scheduled to marry Hermione Granger at 4pm today._

000

He opens the mahogany door to his dreary old apartment, looking surprised. His hair is tousled and his eyes pink-undoubtedly a result a sleep deprived night. Of course, he has been awake all night-thoughts of his lost love killing his peace. Somehow the blond manages to look startlingly stunning despite his seemingly disheveled appearance. Lo and behold, the wonders of makeup!

"What…what are you doing here?" He croaks, the actor straining to maintain a look of destitution. The brunette who had knocked the door, peers at him through big doe eyes, heavily lined with mascara. She puckers her blood red lips and glances away several times, stalling. _Freakin' get it over with! Tell him. Tell hiiiimmmmmmm_. I yell in my head.

He doesn't want to seem weak or some cliché nonsense like that so he clears his throat and dramatically proclaims, "I'm busy".

Yeah dick-busy moping around the pit that you lost your one true love after you broke up with her for a phenomenally miniscule fight.

She's done so much for him. She's gone through the trouble of finding her inner beauty, having shed her elephantine glasses in favor of contacts and letting her hair down, applying makeup and undergoing painful hair removal procedures.

I sigh deeply, allowing myself a moment of much needed self-pity.

The woman assesses her situation and wonders what her options are. Unable to state her true purpose, she abruptly holds up some file which is merely excuse to say goodbye. "You…er…forgot this yesterday," she says, suddenly confident in herself. When he looks away at the file, her serene mask falters and she's visibly in turmoil but masks herself immediately when he looks back.

His eyes reflect his dimming hope as he wraps his fingers around the file, looking into her eyes for some hope that there is a future for them…that she feels the same way he does.

"Oh…thanks" The silence hangs in the air, thick as a fog.

"Well, I'll be going then," she looks like she wants to kick herself for not being the brave woman she has been portrayed as all this time.

She make an exaggerated turn to leave when he calls to her.

"Wait Celest!" She pauses at the door, her back turned towards him.

We all know what's comin folks!

"I'm sorry. I love you"

There it is.

"I love you too James," she turns, her eyes wide and innocent. She's surprised! After all this time it seems pretty unbelievable that she hasn't known this all along. He did after all make fun of her and flirt with her for the last hour of her life on screen.

The lighting focuses on her. Oh she is radiating. The love is making her glow!

She runs into his arms and they kiss. Two lovers frozen for eternity with their faces stuck together permanently. How tiring.

The credits role and I feel like a load of shit. How lame. The muggle director should be arrested for charging money for this cheap ass shit in the name of entertainment.

I just sat through a load of pure bullshit in an effort to calm my nerves. Ha! Calm my nerves? Next time, I'm going to watch an action film or maybe even a documentary godamnit. Whoever knew that breaking up a wedding was such a nerve wreck?

Everyone likes happy endings don't they? Well…mine is currently getting married to an airheaded bubble up on sixty Third Street. The lights begin to brighten but stay at a minimum so as not to kill the theatre population's eyes.

I'm incredibly hostile today and shove several people out of the way including a teenager who squawks at me. I give her the classic Malfoy glare and she threatens me with her grandma's stick. I give her the finger and that settles the argument.

Well Granger you old hag, I don't care if I have to kiss you on the altar in front of the whole fucking world. Hell will freeze over before I let another unfaithful man marry you for your prestige! This is a competition and I am most certainly not going to lose to some skimpy little twit who thinks a sloth is a cat and Alaska is a dessert! I am more than sufficient to play the part of your annoying, over bearing, socialite husband. I will smother you with money, lands and even grace you with my presence once in a while. Why, I think I'd make a lovely nuisance and will be sure to be a constant nag.

This is a promise!

I am almost ready to stop a wedding. I look at my watch to check the time. The little Weasel said that she'd be getting married at half past one. I spent the weekend watching tragic youtube videos featuring wedding crashers to make sure I know the right part to cut in. Shrek was particularly instrumental in aiding my understanding of how to interrupt muggle weddings.

She'll be relieved that I've saved her from marrying a troll and fall into my arms. Then said hag and I shall marry and live happily ever after.

In any case, I asked Granger to marry me first and first come first serve. If anyone deserves to inherit her good name and fame, it's me! How can I rebuild a Malfoy empire when customers think I'm an evil mini me of Moldy Voldy?

_1:30. _Hermione Granger, you can thank me later.

…_I'm a man  
Phenomenally.  
Phenomenal man,  
That's me…_

And with that I take a deep sip of soda and confidently walk out the doors, on my way to conquer the world…Well right after a detour to the men's room first…Note to self: never drink soda before wedding bashes.

000

**A/N: **

**Hi guys, I hope you liked it. **

**It's short for now but I'll try to update it really soon (I always have a complete plot for my stories). Pls tell me what you thought!**


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